The Princess tangent…

Writer’s Digest March/April 2016

Okay, so there’s that. Always Magnolia took an Honorable Mention in the mainstream/literary category in the 23rd Annual Writer’s Digest Self-published Book Awards.

Wayward Cat Publishing and its url are right there in the listing! This is the highest honor I’ve received so far, so no dissing it! I consider myself a proper celebrity now and expect all due deference. Bows, kissing the hand, that sort of thing. I have perfected the princess wave already–I’ve been at work on that for years and years. All I lack at this point is the tiara. Do they make tiaras with Cross pens on them? Because that’s what I want.

And this:

It’s a tiara pen! You can get all three of them at Amazon for $28.95 plus $14.95 shipping and handling. It comes from London! I could autograph my books with it at book festivals. I could write up all my notes with it. Use it at the grocery store to cross things off my list.

“Oh, this old thing?” I could say with a giggle. “Why, I use this pen when I can’t find one of my many life-size tiaras.”

It’s true, you know. I never really got over not being born a princess. There’s just something wrong with this world I’m in. Here I am in all my princessly finery still having to cook dinner and scrub the toilet. I would like a Jeeves. I have a Roomba; why not a Jeeves to go with it? And my Roomba comes with a remote control, so I don’t even have to bend over to turn her on! I want a Jeeves with a remote control. (Doesn’t every woman?)

In May, my oldest son is getting married. I should go as a princess. Jeeves and Roomba can come along as my entourage. I’ll carry my tiara pen as a scepter. I don’t think this dress will be too much, do you?

 You can get it from PromGirl for only $495. I mean, I can get it there. Because I totally am! I deserve it!

I have put in the hours! I have stomped my feet! My princess pedigree has been stamped, people!

Bow. Kiss the hand. Wave.

Thank you, thank you all for this high honor.

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4 Responses to The Princess tangent…

  1. zippityzerns says:

    It's not the tiara; it's the girl in the tiara. Congratulations and skip the tiara–go straight to full on crown.

  2. You're probably right. Tiaras are for girls. But queens have an awful lot of responsibility! I'm not sure I'm altogether ready for that.

  3. Unknown says:

    Stardust Boutique is a Jovani prom dresses company. If you are looking for a prom dress, we are a Jovani dress store and stockist supplying UK, USA, Canada, Australia, internationally.
    We stock all kinds of Jovani if you want a Jovani prom dresses, Jovani short dress, Jovani evening dress, Jovani pageant dress, jvn prom dress, jvn short dress and pageant dresses.

  4. Well, thanks, Jovani. But I'm like, 57. And I didn't go to my prom. Prom is for pretty, popular girls.

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