It’s been a long while since I posted on this blog. There are a couple of reasons for that.
- Fascism.
- People really don’t read blogs anymore, do they?
If you want to get right to the food, scroll down a bit. Otherwise, let’s get into it.
The first time the Orange Shitler won the Presidency I fell into a really deep depression. It got worse and worse until I sought help. And the help really did help. I remember posting on Facebook before the election that if this country elected that narcissistic buffoon, I would never forgive it. And I haven’t. It was disgusting finding out how many people I knew turned out to be horrible and/or stupid. Those relationships are over. Done. And no, I didn’t end relationships over politics. I ended them over moral values. They lack them. I have them.
To be honest, the depression wasn’t just about Mushroom Dick. I have a whole lifetime of reasons for therapy. (See: As My Mother Lay Dying and I am Not a Monster)
But you might think I’m going to say that this last time Cheeto Mussolini was elected I got so depressed I stopped blogging. But that’s not the way it happened. I stopped blogging mostly because of #2. Why bother?
I was going to blog last November after we went to the Epcot Food & Wine Festival. I took pictures of all the food and noted our thoughts about each sample. I mean, there was one booth where we got a lobster tail that was so dry and tough I thought they should have been ashamed to serve it. But I just didn’t feel like blogging.
And when that Trump Turd won again, you know what I did? I laughed. I just laughed and laughed. It was kind of a “are you fucking kidding me?” laugh. And I’m still laughing.
I hope every idiot who voted for that creep suffers. I hope they lose their health care, their jobs, their homes. I hope they lose everything. Fuck them.
But other than that, I’ve been doing just fine. I stopped writing for a while, though. I’m just tired of putting stuff out there to crickets. I got into reselling with a booth at an antiques mall. It’s a lot of fun. I get to shop all week and sell stuff.
But mostly, I’ve been making junk journals. Here’s a video of one of my latest:
I sell these journals at my booth.
Anyway, this spring, we would have gone to Sea World for the Seven Seas Food Festival. But we just don’t feel like spending all the money to force feed ourselves for a day. So, we decided to go to the website, choose all the samples we would have liked to try, and then make them here at home! Great idea, right? So, each Sunday, we make something we’ve never had before.
And just like I would have done if we went, I’m going to blog about what we ate. Except that, it won’t be in one big blog. Today, I’m going to show you the first seven things we made.
Here we go…
First, Garlic Toast Chicken Parmesan
We looked at a couple of recipes for this. One would have us hollow out a few wide slices of Italian bread and stuff chicken parmesan into it or something ridiculous like that. We decided to just make chicken parmesan sandwiches on garlic toasted rolls.
Looks fabulous, doesn’t it?
I’m pretty sure we used this recipe for the chicken, but substituted Italian style bread crumbs.
Well, it was bland. Seriously. All that spice in the bread crumbs and the sauce. And the garlic-y toasted roll. Bland. Well, actually, the roll was pretty good.
Next up…Pork Pincho. This is a Puerto Rican recipe for pork chunks on a stick. It was quite involved. We made a marinade and soaked the pork in it overnight. Then stuck the chunks on a stick and grilled them, brushing them with bbq sauce.
I had to find stuff like sofrito and sazon and adobo seasoning. I searched all over the place for the sofrito. Once I found it in the freezer section of Walmart I now see it in every store. Once you know where to look…
Anyway, we used this recipe for Pork Pincho.
It smelled good. But alas, it was as bland as the chicken. And we weren’t sure why we had to stick a piece of bread on the stick, but we did. And again, the bread was the best part.
It’s not the Puerto Rican’s fault. Pork is just not that flavorful.
Anyway, then we chose Cardamom Chocolate Torte Cake.
I have to say, I don’t know why people want to ruin chocolate by adding stuff like coffee…or cardamom.
We used this recipe. Here’s the whole shebang…
Yep, she’s squashed. And here’s a slice:
Looks a lot better this way. So…the texture was like dense pudding. It was chocolatey. But it was also cardamommy. And again…why? Also, a lot of work when a pan of brownies would do much better. And you know what? You can pour ganache on brownies, too.
Then we made some Jamaican Jerk Chicken. Once again, using this recipe, we were hunting odd ingredients and creating a marinade. We found Scotch Bonnet Peppers at a little independent grocery nearby.
Here’s our chicken:
And here’s my plate. We added peas and mashed potatoes.
The peas and mashed potatoes were great! The chicken was spicy hot. It was more heat than flavor. We really don’t get it. Where is the flavor? How do we get flavor in chicken parmesan, pork pincho, and Jamaican Jerk chicken? What are we doing wrong?
But we persevere…
Next up, Palermo Fontina Cheese Meatball.
Oh. My. God. Look at this meatball!
We used this recipe. They’re huge! Here it is cut open…
Now, I don’t mean to harp on a message, but this was basically a big hunk of meat. It had some flavor, yes. But again, I thought the garlic bread was the best part. And I definitely couldn’t eat the whole thing. Who could? Who would?
Next we tried something we thought couldn’t lose. The Bleu Cheese Potato Twisters! I mean, it’s potatoes, right? You can’t ruin potatoes.
Well…
We decided to use bleu cheese salad dressing instead of fresh bleu cheese. We thought it would add more flavor. And we couldn’t really find a good recipe. So we just read a few different ones. Learned how to cut the potato on the skewer. And then just went with it.
This is how it ended:
It was…okay. But so much trouble for so little benefit. I would so much rather have a baked potato!
And last (for this episode) we made Rum Cake! We used this recipe which claims to be the best rum cake recipe. I got to go to the liquor store! I haven’t had rum in forever. I got some Bacardi Gold, as I couldn’t find the recommended brand.
The cake was easy enough to make. It tastes sweet and cinnamon-y with a glow of alcohol to it. I could really taste the rum in the glaze.
But, here’s the thing. It’s not chocolate. It’s a sweet cake. It’s for people who like sweet stuff more than they like chocolate. But, even if I wanted a different kind of cake, I’d go for my great grandfather’s “Pa’s Pound Cake” recipe. Or Bill Sherrill’s “Vanilla Wafer Cake” recipe. I wouldn’t make this again.
I know what you’re thinking. Don’t I like anything? And if I’m so particular, why do I try stuff?
Because it’s fun, that’s why. And it’s good for you to try stuff, even if you don’t like it in the end.
We’ve got plenty more to make on our list. And when we’re done with the Sea World Seven Seas stuff, we’re going to do the same with the Epcot Food & Wine Festival this year. I’ll blog all about it, even if nobody cares.
And in the meantime, let’s do our best to get through America’s Stupid Fascism Era with our empathy (as much as we had, anyway), morals, and joy intact.