Well, Trump the human sack of pus, has taken over D.C. with his Gestapo of dickless bullies and he’s got his eyes on Chicago next. He rolled out the red carpet for War Criminal Putin, of all people. Standing among world leaders for a photo op he turned to draw their attention to an enormous picture of himself after he supposedly got his ear shot. They all looked as uncomfortable and depressed as everybody else. Then he’s in the Oval Office with the wormy suck up World Cup leader, talking about what an amazing athlete he is and how great he looks in shorts.
The insanity just keeps piling on. Everything feels pretty hopeless.
And then, along comes Gavin Newsom!
Now, this guy isn’t the greatest. I mean, remember how he sat down with the abhorrent Charlie Kirk and was all chummy? But, unlike the rest of the Democrats, he’s got Trump’s number.
Seriously, aren’t we all sick of the whole “When they go low, we go high” crap? That’s what it looks like from my point of view. The country is burning down around them and Democrats in Congress are writing strongly worded letters to no one and nowhere.
We need leaders who are going to fight! Fight like hell! If they don’t like the way Newsom is doing it, which is hilarious and probably the only thing keeping a lot of us sane right now, then do something else. Just. Do. Something!
I honestly believe that Trump has no intention of allowing Congress to be taken by Democrats in the midterms. He will claim the election was rigged and not allow new Democratic Congressmen to be seated. I wouldn’t be surprised if his Gestapo starts arresting Democratic leaders.
It’s going to get really bad, before it gets better.
But, anyway, in honor of Gavin Newsom and his awesome Trump Trolling Team, I give you…the California Roll.
This was the funniest thing we’ve made so far. We had a great time making terrible sushi rolls. But in the end, not too bad. First came the debate. All the pictures of sushi rolls we found have the seaweed wrap on the outside. But according to our recipe, the rice was supposed to be on the outside. We couldn’t tell what was going on at the Sea World Seven Seas Food Festival, because it appears they rolled them up in little balls of batter before frying. Here’s a picture:
Sea World calls it Tempura-battered sushi. And the description says that it’s a “Fried California Roll with Wasabi Cream and Thai Chili Sauce.” Sure it is.
Okay so, I couldn’t find a recipe for a tempura fried California roll. So I went with this recipe for plain old fried California roll and just used tempura batter mix instead of the bread crumb method. We followed the instructions a little bit. We left out the spicy mayo and sauce in the roll. Honestly, I can’t remember why. Did we just miss that part? No matter. It probably would have ruined it. And we used already prepared sticky rice found at Publix. Big mistake. It wasn’t very sticky at all.
So, we began to roll. The nori seaweed sheets were much bigger than we expected, so Hubs had this idea that we’d cut them in half. Another mistake. When I got my fillings in there and tried to roll it up, I realized the seaweed sheet was not big enough. So, I slapped the other half on there and rolled again. Here’s mine.
I was laughing so hard. There was no way this could be dipped in tempura batter and fried. The rice would fall right off and you can see the avocado is already spilling out.
Here are Hubs’ rolls.
So, clearly this wasn’t going to work. Time for a great idea! Make it work! We decided to just wrap another nori sheet over our rolls. So, we got double seaweed.
Ta-da! Sushi roll! Then we fried them up. It didn’t go quite as planned. But there was some tempura batter on them.
We topped them with that fake wasabi stuff you get at Publix. But it came out in globs instead of a nice drizzle. And for the Thai chili sauce, we added a bit of honey to our already purchased sriracha. Here’s what we ended up with.
That’s artistry right there.
Anyway, then we sliced them and what do you know? We actually made sushi!
Those globs at the bottom are a sliced of avocado and a hunk of fake crab, battered in tempura and fried. They were pretty good too. This sushi was very rich. I ate most of my roll, but not all of it.
It was a fun experience and I got to use my sushi rolling mat, so there’s that. But I don’t think I’d make sushi again. You never know, though. So, I’ll keep the mat around just in case.