The publishing world is changing at a rapid pace. Social media is still fairly new and exciting. Put the two together and you get the new version of used-car salesmen: authors.
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| Come in and buy. You know you want me. Buy me! Photo by vasile23 via Flickr |
Yes, we have to market our books–even the traditionally published have to do it. I’ve heard it said that an agent won’t touch a new author if she doesn’t have 10,000 Twitter followers and 5,000 likes on her Facebook author page. I don’t buy it; but I’ve heard it.
The naturally pushy, and the desperate authors, are sounding the clarion call: Market! Market! Market! And all the newbies are taking up their advice, lint-rollering their yellow leisure suits (Yes, I did just make up a word) and studying the how-to-sell-anything-to-anybody manuals offered by their peers.
Do I want people to read my books? Of course I do. But there are some things I simply will not debase myself by doing.
1. I will never call people who follow me on Twitter, or who like my facebook page, “fans.”
One day, some of them may be. But I’m not Sally Field accepting an Oscar. If I ever do accept an award, I will allow myself the ridiculous notion–just during my excitement phase–that I have fans. But what I hope to have is connections with people who read. I’d love them to read my books. But I will never assume they are sixteen-year-old girls fawning over me.
Of said readers, I will never be so presumptuous as to “thank” them for making my books bestsellers, or making me famous, or making me who I am today, etc., etc., blah blah. I find that sort of behavior extremely derogatory–to the people I’d think I was praising. And I’d certainly never do such a thing in a blanket Tweet or post or blog, assuming that everyone who is reading is a fan and loves me and made me into a celebrity.
2. I will never post links to–or quote from–reviews of my books on Twitter or any other social media. I will grant myself one out–for the first rave review. I’ll be so excited I won’t be able to contain myself. But after that–zilch. Nada. No way.
3. I will never tweet my Amazon rankings or post them to any social media. I can’t imagine…
4. I will never tweet my “follower stats” on Twitter.
I can’t imagine anyone cares how many followers I have or have lost. Sometimes I feel like these tweets are subtle threats, as if to say, 13 people unfollowed me…I will hunt them down…
5. I will never post an ad for any of my books on social media more than once a day (probably not even that much, certainly no more than twice a week–I’m having a hard time imagining more than once a week.).
One of the reasons we only go to the fair once a year is that we don’t like being barked at as we walk the games alley. All those authors’ ads are nothing more than pushy salesmanship. Nobody likes that. Nobody.
6. I will never ask readers to buy my books because it will help me make money, get rich, or get famous, no matter how clever I think I’m being when I think about doing it. No.
7. I will never ask a question on Twitter or any other social media that people might think it fun to actually answer, only for it to turn out to be just another ad for my book.
8. I will never make, or offer, a deal.
I will never trade reviews. I will never agree to read a book I have no interest in to get someone to read mine. I will never join an organization or group that purports to advertise me, in exchange for my advertising of them. I will never offer free books in exchange for retweets or likes.
I’m not making a deal. I’m an author.
9. I will never repeat the clever and witty personal things I say on social media, under the assumption that they are so clever and witty that everyone will want to read them so I have to make sure everybody does.
My personal tweets and posts are personal. They’re about me and my life. They are not a sales tactic to try to get someone to read my books, or to see me as a “platform” or a celebrity. If I think they’re so great, I’ll put them in a book.
10. And finally, the biggest ethical taboo of them all.
I will never, ever, ever tell a reader that he owes me anything.
Readers don’t owe me a living. They don’t owe me reviews, or follows, or likes. They don’t owe me retweets. It’s not their jobs to sell my books or to sell me. Readers owe me nothing.
That’s one reason that I would never condescend to call them fans, push ads for my books at them, repeat myself as if I’m clever, or act like I’m all that.
That’s it. Those things, I will never do.