My Tom Brady, Patriots conundrum…

I thought you said football season was over…
photo by Ivva via Flickr

Bill Maher recently went off on the Patriots. He would normally not care for football, from what I gathered in watching the clip. But Trump has caused him to hate the Patriots and root for the Falcons tomorrow in Super Bowl LI.

Me? I don’t know.

The only team in the NFL that I actively dislike is the Seahawks. I find them and their fans arrogant and prone to bouts of childishness. I mean, seriously…the 12th man? The crowd in their ridiculously loud stadium makes as much noise as it can while the other team is trying to call plays and then makes nice and quiet when the Seahawks are up. They’re basically stomping their feet and claiming their team wouldn’t be able to win without their ability to handicap other teams. I can’t express the happiness I felt when the Seahawks lost Superbowl XLIX. And who did they lose to? The Patriots. I was so, so, so happy.

I like watching football and I do root for a few teams. Miami Dolphins and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, because I’m from Florida and I’m supposed to root for them. Jacksonville Jaguars, sure, but even though their mascot is a cat, the Dolphins and the Bucs come first. Of course, those two teams suck. Really bad. But I root for them anyway.

Outside my state, I like the Broncos, the Packers, the Eagles, the Vikings, the Ravens, the 49ers, the Steelers (except when they wear the bumble bee uniforms), the Bengals, and the Jets, And the Patriots and the Falcons. If I had to put them in order (behind the Dolphins and the Bucs), the Patriots would be right up there near the top, maybe first.

I like the other teams well enough, except for the Seahawks. I just don’t root for them when they’re playing one of the teams I like more. And when two teams I like play against each other, sometimes I pick one to root for and sometimes I root for both of them.

I did not buy into Deflategate. I thought it was much ado over nothing, and I thought Tom Brady was maligned. I agree with a lot of football fans, and Dan Wetzel, that the whole thing was a bizarre and shoddy investigation into the air pressure of footballs.”

And worse, in Wetzel’s words:

Goodell and his office are blamed for a rush to judgment on deflate-gate, for conducting a lengthy investigation that was about proving a conclusion, not seeking the truth, for leaking prejudicial and inaccurate information to frame the Pats in the arena of public opinion and even completely misrepresenting Brady’s under oath testimony, essentially punishing him for saying the exact opposite of what he actually said.

So, what I’m saying is that I still like the Patriots.

And I hate Donald Trump with an icy hot passion unrivaled by anything I’ve ever felt before.

Maher’s reasons for suddenly deciding to root for the Falcons this year is that the Patriots’ owner, coach, and quarterback all support(ed) Donald Trump. But I can’t find it in me to hate the Patriots just because some of the people involved with the team are idiots. Seriously, though. Such. Fucking. Idiots.

Yeah, I’m really disappointed in Tom Brady. But he’s always seemed a bit stuck up, hasn’t he? He’s a privileged, cocky, rich, white guy without much of a clue or a care about anybody’s suffering. And he’s clearly not very smart.

But I just can’t turn against an entire team of players because their owner, coach, and quarterback are dumber than rocks. I can still root for the Patriots tomorrow. And I might. I think they’re going to win. But since I like both teams, I’ll probably just root for both of them.

Oh, I’d unfriend Brady, Belichick, and Kraft on Facebook in a heartbeat. If they were my friends and went all gushy over the Orange Blowhard. (So don’t even send me a friend request, guys. Not even.)

I guess there wasn’t a conundrum after all… Oh, well. Maybe there will be some controversy over the commercials.

Enjoy the Big Game!

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