15 Things The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Got Wrong

I promise, this is my last post about The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. And let me say from the start that this is one of my favorite shows. I love it so much that these things the show got wrong really bother me. So let me just get it out of my system and then I can move on to what’s wrong with the rest of the world.

Let me know if you spotted anything else. It’ll give me more reasons to re-watch the show.

1. Strangers in the night…

Who the hell are those strange people at the Weissman family table in the first episode? Now, I get it, I suppose. The first episode is called “Pilot.” So, are we to assume this was a true pilot, like back in the old days when they put it out there and if people liked it, the network picked it up and went with it? If so, then I guess they didn’t think too far into the future and cast all of the parts.

But, I’m not completely ready to buy that.

In the scene, Miriam Maisel, played by the wonderful Rachel Brosnahan, is giving a speech at her wedding four years prior to the main storyline. At the table behind her are the Weissmans, played by Tony Shalhoub and Marin Hinkle, and Joel, Miriam’s husband, played by Michael Zegen. Then there’s some random dude and two other older people, along with the Rabbi.

Those other people must be Miriam’s brother Noah, and Joel’s parents, the Maisels. But the actors are not the actors who portray those parts in the series. And where is Astrid? Astrid, played by Justine Lupe, says, in an early episode, that she and Noah have been trying to have a child for seven years. So, why wasn’t she at the wedding that took place four years prior to the main timeline of the show?

2. “We got the bastard!”

The angry lady at the deli in Episode 1 is the same actress who plays Edie (Barbara Miluski) later in the show at the Catskills. Oops. Suddenly we are synagogue and Catskills pals with the “You like your free pork chops?” lady in the deli!

3. We want latkes, people!

Baz, played by Erik Lochtefeld, asks for latkes from Miriam for the next week, when she comes into the Gaslight Café. But she brings another brisket instead and he doesn’t say anything. This bothers me.

4. “But, do you love it?”

The end of Episode 1 leaves you believing that Miriam is actually considering a career in stand-up when she bails Lenny Bruce, played by the amazing Luke Kirby, out of jail and asks him if he loves the work. But by the time Susie Myerson (played by the one-and-only Alex Borstein) shows up at her door later that day, she’s suddenly against it again. This is a bait and switch to keep that particular conflict going. Bad form.

5. Ragdoll down and shake it out, ladies!

Okay, this one is a little silly, but it definitely bothers me.

In Episode 1, Midge (aka Miriam) walks around all night after getting drunk and taking the stage at the Gaslight–the night before Yom Kippur. Later that morning, she’s changed her clothes and bails Lenny out of jail. In Episode 2, she’s at exercise class–the morning or afternoon of Yom Kippur. She’s supposed to be fasting (though she did nibble on some stuff during the night, so maybe she just gave up on all of that), she got so drunk the night before she doesn’t remember flashing her boobs to an audience at the Gaslight, and she hasn’t slept–when could she possibly have slept? But she’s at exercise class?

6. “She dressed for the meeting”

In Episode 3, at the lawyer’s office, Midge says that she and Joel met a co-op board, presumably for their apartment. But apartment buildings in Riverside didn’t go co-op until many years later.

I admit, the only reason I know this is because I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. What’s a co-op board? So I looked it up and found out that juicy tidbit of a-historical story writing. You’re welcome.

7. “We’re going to the Catskills!”

In Season 2, Episode 4, Pauly, played by Saul Rubinek, tells Midge that in the Mrs. Steiner swimsuit pageant, the winner is always escorted by her husband, and so, as Midge and Joel are separated, it would be awkward if she won. And as she’s won every year she entered, it would be best if she were sash girl instead of a contestant.

And yet, there stands Midge in the competition with the sash ready to drape the new Mrs. Steiner Swimsuit and what do you know? There’s no husband to be seen. And nobody says anything about it. What the hell?

8. “Are we still on for tonight?”

In Episode 7, Joel is at the dress factory and confirms a date that night with one of the girls who works there. But that night is the party celebrating his purchase of the building. And later that night, he’s bombed and there are a few girls hanging around needing cab fare from Archie, Joel’s best friend played by Joel Johnstone. None of the girls look like the one he had the 10 o’clock date with. What happened to her? Maybe she went home pissed that he didn’t take her anywhere, but it’s not like she didn’t know there was a party happening. It’s just muddled writing.

9. Jabberwocky, m’ dude…

In that same episode, Declan Howell, played fabulously by one of my fave actors Rufus Sewell, tells Midge to tell Benjamin (her love interest at the time, played by the great Zachary Levi) to pick out a piece of art and leave a check. But don’t tell him where he lives or Declan will go there and take it back. Declan was an odd artist who didn’t really like to sell his work.

So…did checks not have addresses on them in the late Fifties?

10. “It’s not really about where you shop, is it?”

In Episodes 9 & 10, Benjamin shows up at the park and meets Ethan, Miriam’s son. She tells him that he shouldn’t have come because she hasn’t cleared it with Joel. And Joel is really pissed off about it when he finds out. But, hold on!

Earlier in the show, I don’t remember when, Joel gets a place to live and asks to have Ethan over to spend a night. He says he’ll pick Ethan up, but Midge is running late and doesn’t have Ethan home in time, so she calls Joel’s office to get his new address only to find he’s living with Penny Pann, the woman he cheated on her with. Penny is played by the lovely Holly Curran.

So, you’re telling me that Joel was going to have Ethan for a sleepover at Penny’s house without Miriam knowing about it, but is pissed off that Benjamin shows up at the park and meets Ethan? And Miriam doesn’t say anything about that when he’s bitching at her about it?

What the bloody hell?

11. “Nobody’s gonna tie you up”

In Season 3, Episode 1, Joel rents out a space for his nightclub and says the price in the contract is locked in for five years. But later, Mae, played by the amazing Stephanie Hsu, says her parents are going to raise the rent the next year. Huh?

12. “I had a close friend, and I never knew it”

In Episode 2, Susie is in her tiny one-room apartment. Jackie, who works with her at the Gaslight, played by the beloved and late Brian Tarantina, is there because she’s subletting the apartment to him while she’s going on tour with Midge. Jackie’s in the bed. The thing is, Susie’s apartment is so small that when the Murphy bed is pulled down from the wall, you can’t open the door. When Susie wants to leave, she tells him he has to get out of bed. But he says he’s naked under the covers.

So many questions. He couldn’t have been in bed when she arrived, because he’d have had to get out and get dressed to push the bed back up and let her in. How could he have gotten into bed naked while she was there, without her knowing about it? But we know that he must have already been in the bed when she arrived because he tells her that Midge called an hour ago and woke him up. If Susie had been there when Midge called, she would have answered the phone herself and not had to get the message from Jackie.

So, the scene is logistically impossible.

Sure, it’s funny. But the illogic of it just spoils the whole thing. Poor writing there.

13. “Cherry, orange, cherry. That shoulda been somethin'”

This one’s long.

In Episode 3, in Las Vegas for the Shy Baldwin tour, Reggie, Shy’s manager, played by Sterling K. Brown (Shy Baldwin is played by Leroy McClain) says the tour is going to LA, San Francisco, Chicago, and then Miami. Angie Calibresi, played by Lenny Venito, is a mob boss who owns the Las Vegas hotel they’re staying and performing at.

The bass player, Carole, played by Liza Weil, tells Miriam they will get together soon and she’ll “explain the rules of the road” to her.

Then, in Episode 4, they’re still in Las Vegas. They’ve been there for about two weeks, because Midge gets her first paycheck from Angie and Susie says it’s two weeks’ pay. Joel goes to Vegas to visit and Angie is still there so we assume it’s the same hotel and casino that Midge was in at the beginning of their Las Vegas stint.

In the next episode, they’re suddenly in Miami and Midge and Susie mention a bunch of places they’ve been on this tour. LA is mentioned. But it’s not until this episode that Carole invites Midge to her room for drinks and the “rules” talk. It’s played like this is the first time they’ve gotten together and the first time they’ve discussed this subject. So, months later, they finally get together? I guess…

14. “Same heart attack, different afterlife”

I admit, this one’s just nitpicking.

In the last episode of Season 4, Midge plays the Apollo. And on that night, Susie and her sister Tessie, played by Emily Bergl, burn down their deceased mother’s house for the insurance money.

The next night, so 24 hours later, Miriam and Susie show up at the airport and find that they are booted from the tour just before they’re supposed to leave for Europe. Susie and Midge spend that night at the Gaslight. The next morning, Miriam tells Susie she needs all of the money that she’s made so far because she made a deal with her former father-in-law to buy back her old apartment and when he finds out she’s been fired, he’s going to want more money up front right away.

Susie calls Tess, and Tess says the insurance guy said the check would be ready that day.

What? The insurance money is coming through less than 48 hours after the house burns down? Okay, sure, we do find out that the check isn’t really ready and that might have been a lure to get Susie and Tess down to the agency so they could be questioned about the fire.

But Susie and Tess really thought the check would come through that quickly? Something’s weird about that.

15. “It’s tough being a woman in journalism”

In Episode 6, Miriam unwittingly and stupidly gives L. Roy Dunham, played by Hari Nef, her maiden name. Not only does it not make sense for her to do that, it sets up a situation in which the public will find out that Miriam is Rose Weissman’s daughter, causing problems with Rose’s biggest matchmaking client.

But this storyline is dropped, almost certainly because the creators decided to do only one more season and rushed everything to a somewhat unsatisfying end. See The Problem with the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Finale.

Update to add another one!

BONUS #16.

In Season 3, Episode 1, Miriam and Susie arrive at some army place for a show. Susie complains that Miriam is always late. They were supposed to be there at noon and it was 12:30. But Midge says that as long as she’s there when they call her name, she’s on time, as far as she’s concerned. And when they are getting out of the jeep, she says, “See, still tapping!” referring to the girls on stage dancing.

As they are escorted to the stage, an army dude is giving Midge instructions on what to do. She’s to walk across the stage, wave at the troops, and then exit on the other side. And she says,
“This isn’t my set?” No. This is just the intro to all the performers in the show.

So, Midge arrived in her cute little army-esque outfit thinking she was going right on stage to perform, right? And yet, after the intro to all the performers, she and Susie are sent to the dressing rooms where she puts on her show outfit.

Now, you could argue that Miriam was simply willing to perform in her traveling outfit, but I’m not buying it. If she thought she was supposed to go on as soon as she arrived, she’d have either arrived in her performance dress, got there in time to change, or she’d have been complaining about not having time to change and insisting she get to do it.

The last thing I want to say is that I’ve read a few opinion pieces about the show. Some people gripe about Midge being a terrible mom, and I’m like, would you say that about a man trying to make a career out of standup? And the show is about the costs of success for a woman in the late Fifties. I think the show did a good job in the last season of giving us a glimpse of how Midge’s relationships with her children turned out. And let’s face facts, people. Great parenting isn’t all that funny.

But one guy, I don’t remember who, complained about the final episode in which Miriam walks through her enormous penthouse apartment all alone. If I recall correctly, he was uncomfortable with that vision, of Midge having all that success only to end up alone. I think I commented on his article, saying he should re-watch the show. Midge’s sacrifices for her career were foreshadowed throughout.

But, more than that, her enormous banquet table is set for guests–a lot of them. Midge is wealthy and yes, lives alone, but the finale doesn’t make it out like she’s lonely, or that she’s regretful, or hasn’t had a wonderful life. She spends time with family, judging by her hopes of being in New York for Christmas, and she obviously has a lot of friends. Best of all, she spends plenty of phone time with her very best friend, Susie.


So, overall, despite these quirks and errors, and the complaints of a few, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is fabulous. And I’ll definitely watch it again and again.

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Here We Go Again…

In January, I wrote this:

The thing is, no matter what people tell you, no matter what you do, you might not succeed.

Everyone out there telling you how to succeed–Just keep submitting to corporate publishers or agents! Persistence is the key! Stay in one lane! Write to market!–is either suffering from survivor’s bias or spouting what the survivors have told them because they do believe in fairies, they do believe in fairies, they do, they do, they do believe in fairies.

Well, I don’t.

So, I’ve decided to give up.

Hold your panties, there, I’m not giving up on writing. In fact, from your perspective, I’ll bet nothing is going to change at all.

What I’m giving up on is the nagging and the guilt and the frustration–all of these things are coming from inside of my own head and I’m sick of them. If I don’t feel like writing fiction, I’m not going to do it. That’s all there is to it. But lucky for me, I do often feel like it, so I’ll probably produce the same amount as usual. I’m just not going to beat myself up for sewing instead.

I made a list of all the things I want to do–the things that make me happy. Writing, Puzzle Books, Sewing, Photography, Cooking, Online Classes, & Crocheting/Knitting.

Those are the things I like to do. And I’m not going to push any of them aside anymore trying to make myself a successful author. I’m just going to be me.

You know what they say about best laid plans…

I must have been pretty open about my frustration with writing because this whole idea of just doing other stuff and not feeling guilty about it led to a pretty big fight with my husband. And we don’t really fight. We’re fumers. Fume and breathe, fume and breathe, and eventually everything goes back to normal.

But after several months of fuming and bickering and then a nice real fight, I have decided that I’m nuts.

When I said that from your perspective nothing would change, I meant that I had already been at a low point for at least a couple of years and I wasn’t really writing much, anyway. And that just wasn’t working for me. I’d decided to give up worrying about it.

Well, here it is July and giving up worrying wasn’t working for me, either. So, I’m going back to writing full time. I’m not completely sure I ever really wrote full time. Even when I had that office space downtown. But I’m determined to do it this time.

I have such a discipline problem it’s hilarious.

Well, here’s to trying…

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The Problem with The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel finale

I watched the final episode of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season Five just before leaving for vacation. So I had plenty of time to think about it. When I got home, I binge-watched the entire season again. I have to say, it was much more funny and rewarding the second time through. On first viewing, the season felt rushed and lacking in the humor we’ve come to expect from the show. But the whole season makes much more sense, runs smoother, and had a lot more laughs when it can be viewed without having to wait a week between episodes.

Don’t ask me why.

Overall, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is some of the best programming on television right now. That being said, I’m probably going to write another blog post about all the problems with it. Silly things that don’t matter, like the scene in which we find Susie in her apartment with Jackie. Jackie’s in the bed and Susie can’t leave while the bed is down–it blocks the door. Jackie says he’ll get out of bed so she can leave, but he’s naked under the covers.

What the hell? How did Jackie get in the bed naked while Susie was in this tiny one-room apartment? Had Jackie already put a curtain or door (got to watch it again) on the bathroom entrance? We’re supposed to believe that while Susie went to the bathroom, Jackie pulled the bed down, stripped, and got between the sheets? How did he expect Susie to leave?

I know, I know. They played the scene for laughs. And it was funny. But it also made no sense. Stuff like that bugs the shit out of me and I’d like nothing more than to re-watch the entire series just to make note of all those nit picks and write about them.

But not this time.

This time I want to say that, while the final season was really good–maybe not as great as the rest of it because, well, it really was rushed just a bit–it missed one really big thing: closure. On two fronts.

Sure, we should have gotten a bit more about Ethan and Esther. The writers just threw us a few bits about their adulthoods as if that was enough. There should have been just a tad bit more. Just a bit, if you please.

And yes, we absolutely should have gotten a bit more on the whole Abe and Rose dying. Not to mention Lenny Bruce, whose death they passed over completely.

I can forgive those things.

What I can’t get over yet, though, is that the show, for some odd reason, brought back Midge’s one-night stand so he could explain and apologize only to disappear again, but didn’t bring back Benjamin. What the fuck?

This is insanity. Benjamin should have been in the final season in some capacity, if only somehow being in the audience for Midge’s big break on The Gordon Ford Show. Some closure between them would have been fabulous. And it was necessary!

The other bit of closure is with Sophie Lennon. How grand would it have been if, instead of Alfie showing up side-stage for Midge’s big break, it had been Sophie Lennon? Her look of shock, jealousy, and then, perhaps, a mature realization of, and respect for, Midge’s talent–if only a tiny bit–would have been splendid.

I wouldn’t have minded a scene in which Lenny Bruce somehow witnessed Midge’s big break, too. But I understand that would have been tricky. I assume the show was taped, not live. And the flashback following the show scene with Lenny and Midge was wonderful. Perhaps that was enough.

But none of that happened. No Benjamin. No Sophie (except for an unnecessary bit earlier on). No Closure.

I am not happy.

But I imagine I’ll learn to live with it.

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Aunt Faye was wrong (or…why I can’t enjoy anything)

I started a new class this morning with The Great Courses. I’d been trying to listen to a class on The Federalist Papers for a long time and, I’m sorry to say, it was just so boring! So I switched to a class on England, the Beatles, and the 1960s. The first lesson was a real winner.

I learned, for example, that George Harrison visited his sister in Benton, Illinois in 1963. At the time, the Beatles were all the rage in England, but pretty much unheard of in America. Certainly in Benton no one knew who George was.

But I also learned that before the Beatles ushered in the British “Invasion,” the top song on the charts in America, for five weeks no less, was Sugar Shack, by Jimmy Gilmer & the Fireballs. So, after my lesson, I headed over to YouTube for a listen.

I was unimpressed. But the worst part of it was that Jimmy sang the line “There’s this cute little girlie, she’s a-workin’ there; A-black leotards* and her feet are bare.”

*The official lyrics claim he’s singing it this way: “There’s this cute little girlie, she’s a-workin’ there. A black leotard and her feet are bare.” But in the song you can just make out a plural in “leotards” and when you hear the story of how this song was written, you know he’s saying “a-black” in the same way he said “a-workin’.”

Keith McCormack wrote the song with help from his aunt, Faye Voss, over coffee one morning. You can hear him talking about it in The Story of SUGAR SHACK – “We’ve given it a signature!” by Peter Beamish. He says, “I couldn’t remember what you call those tight pants girls wore at the time, so I asked my Aunt Faye and she said ‘leotards.'”

Before I get into it, did you know that the leotard is named after 19th-century French acrobat Jules Léotard?

Anyway, I listened to the entire video about the making of “Sugar Shack” and I’m sorry to say that not once was the error of “leotards” addressed. Leotards are bodysuits, mostly worn by dancers. I can assure you that the waitress in the Sugar Shack wasn’t wearing leotards. She was wearing tights, or more likely 1960’s style peddle pushers. Think Mary Tyler Moore in The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Oh, Rob!

I’m baffled as to why no one noticed that McCormack used the wrong word. Even Wikipedia doesn’t seem to realize it’s wrong.

What the hell is wrong with the world?

Anyway, another top song in 1963 was Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto. A much better song than “Sugar Shack.” And luckily for me, it’s in Japanese, so I have no idea if it has any egregious errors in it.

Sakamoto was only twenty when he sang “Ue o Muite Arukō.” Naturally, the name was changed to “Sukiyaki” because English-speaking people are stupid. Why didn’t they change it to a translation? Like, “I Look Up As I Walk,” which is what it translates into? Why Sukiyaki? Do you know what sukiyaki is? It’s a meat dish and has absolutely nothing to do with the song.

Anyway, what a lovely morning of music and history.

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Searching for my sewing mojo

I’m going to the Original Sewing & Quilting Expo in Lakeland this weekend! Three days of classes, demos, and shopping! I’m excited and anxious at the same time. Traveling is always anxiety producing for me. But I’m determined to do it.

I’ll be taking my newest creation: the placket tote.

I got the idea for this bag from Don Kim on YouTube. His is a little bit different, so you should check out his video if you’re interested in making one.

It’s made from plaid shirt plackets. I bought a bunch of men’s shirts at Goodwill and cut off the plackets. I trimmed them, pressed them, cut them to size and then figured out how I wanted them laid out. Then I sewed them onto cotton fabric.

I used fabric from one of the shirts, and denim, for the lining, thinking the denim would help stabilize the pocket zipper (which I had to do twice–the first time it was wonky and got wonkier the more I looked at it). And I used two of the shirt pockets for the other side of the lining.

I had to do the handles twice, too. The first time, I made them 1 1/2″ wide. I was sure that was the width I wanted. But that turned out to be too wide, so I made them about an inch wide.

Here are some more photos:

I was way too focused on bagging the lining and sewing it to the bottom of the bag, then turning it all right side out, that I didn’t take any photos or video. But if you want to see the process watch Don Kim’s video.

It’s a pretty weird-looking process, but somehow, it works.

I’m really happy with the final product.

It’s been a long time since I sewed regularly. We went through a couple of years of home renovations during which sewing was impossible. But now I have a really nice sewing space and I’m ready to get back into making garments.

My first two projects have been bags. The first one I did wasn’t too bad:

But the straps are too flimsy, the zipper pocket outside is too high, and I used velcro to close the inside pockets, which I’ve decided I hate. So, I’ll probably remake this bag. I’ve got plenty of the fabric leftover. It used to be curtains on our French doors.

So I’m off to the expo to get my sewing mojo back on!

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A Trip to Brevard Zoo

This post contains a few videos and might take a few moments to load. Sorry about that.

We renewed our Brevard Zoo annual memberships after several years and decided to visit last weekend. Members get in early, so it was wonderfully quiet for a short time in the morning. We accidentally went into the aviary before they were open, though.

Here’s the video of us getting kicked out and me trying to get some more video before I had to leave.

That’s was fun.

Anyway, my photos didn’t turn out all that great. I managed to get some decent pics through glass and fencing, and the video was captured with my iPhone. My favorite moments were with the big cats, naturally.

We have lions in Brevard now! Their permanent exhibit is currently being built so they’re hanging out in the Florida section. They are gorgeous!

The best picture I got, and the only one I felt was good enough for a logo was this one of a single lion.

And it’s still not all that great.

I got 56 seconds of video of the jaguar licking a bone.

I think the jaguar is my favorite of the big cats.

The great thing about the zoo is that each time you go, you’ll find something different, even though it’s pretty much the same animals each time. Hopefully, next time I’ll get some video or pictures of the black bears.

The Brevard Zoo is located in Viera, Florida.

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Diet Coke’s Day Out

We attended the Sunshine State Book Festival on Saturday in Gainesville. One hundred fifty authors inside a huge Methodist church. As the spaces for each author were small, we left the cooler in the car, leaving Hubs to run out to get me a yogurt, for example, when the mood hit.

At three o’clock, I was ready for a Diet Coke. Hubs had been sitting for a while, reading on his Kindle, so I told him to take his time fetching one for me. “Take a walk,” I said. “Stretch your legs.”

As I waited patiently for my afternoon jolt of caffeine, I received a series of messages on my phone. Alas, as I was hankering for some energy, my Diet Coke was enjoying a tour of the church grounds.

Here we have Diet and Hubs enjoying some of the crisp fresh air of Gainesville. The high was 65°, downright chilly for a Southerner, so I can’t imagine they sat very long.

Together they enjoyed some duck watching at the pond. It was nice of Hubs to give Diet the chance to feel some real nature under her…bottle.

I see they found another bench. Hubs must be doing the aforementioned stretching of the legs as Diet sits and watches patiently. Nice bench, though.

I’m sure there is some sort of ironic joke being made here.

Now they’re playing soccer? It was after 3:00 by this time and I’m waiting as patiently as I can. I don’t think Hubs should have teased me this way. Still, I was glad Diet was having some fun, considering where she would end up at the end of the day.

Hold the phone?! Now they’re playing baseball?

I’m not sure what’s going on here. Are they exercising? Or is it parkour? She better not fizz all over me when I open her.

Finally! They were on their way into the book festival.

They both made it back to me, but only Hubs left with me at the end of the day. Diet Coke was duly drunk and her bottle recycled…as it should be.

All in all, it was a good day. We met some great people and sold a few books. Hopefully this festival will grow into something really special in the future.

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Oh, look…It’s January again

I’ve made some changes. And while, yes, I did decide on this momentous upheaval of “how things are going” late last year, it really has nothing to do with the whole New Year thing. But it does feel sort of like that.

Anyway, most people out there will tell you that if you want to be “successful” you need to brand yourself. Pick a lane, they say, and stay on it. Find your niche and remain laser focused.

For example, let’s say you like to write cowboy romances. Great! That’s your lane. Write the best cowboy romances you can, and keep writing them. Write them in series, too, because people love that. And maybe, once you’ve got three dozen cowboy romances under your belt and you’re a bestselling romance author (at least in the cowboy section) you can write something a little different.

See…I can’t even offer up a good example of how to succeed without going off the rails.

No! You write cowboy romances damnit and that’s your lane. Stay in the lane if you want to succeed.

There’s a reason I chose Wayward Cat for my imprint. Somewhere in my sad and lonely childhood, I decided I wasn’t going to take this crap anymore. Nobody was going to tell me what to do. And here I am, an old woman, trying to force myself to do things I don’t necessarily* want to do.

*It’s complicated.

I’ve written fourteen novels and one nonfiction book. I didn’t stay in my lane. I wrote the stories that were in my head, and I stand by that strategy. I couldn’t have done it any other way. I’m just not wired to stay in one lane.

I’ve also created four puzzle books so far, with one more on deck and lots to come. I’ve created three journals with one more almost finished. And looking at my output lately, some might think I’m just throwing stuff at the wall hoping something will stick, but that’s not it. Not at all.

I was fine writing fiction until I happened upon journals, which led me to puzzle books. I do them because I love to do them.

But, sure, I’d also love to be more successful. Who wouldn’t?

It’s not like I haven’t sold any books. Online sales trickle in. And I had a very successful weekend at the Miami Book Fair last year. My books do win awards when I bother to enter contests. But I don’t sell a lot of books regularly and I guess that was how I was measuring success.

The thing is, no matter what people tell you, no matter what you do, you might not succeed.

Everyone out there telling you how to succeed–Just keep submitting to corporate publishers or agents! Persistence is the key! Stay in one lane! Write to market!–is either suffering from survivor’s bias or spouting what the survivors have told them because they do believe in fairies, they do believe in fairies, they do, they do, they do believe in fairies.

Well, I don’t.

So, I’ve decided to give up.

Hold your panties, there, I’m not giving up on writing. In fact, from your perspective, I’ll bet nothing is going to change at all.

What I’m giving up on is the nagging and the guilt and the frustration–all of these things are coming from inside of my own head and I’m sick of them. If I don’t feel like writing fiction, I’m not going to do it. That’s all there is to it. But lucky for me, I do often feel like it, so I’ll probably produce the same amount as usual. I’m just not going to beat myself up for sewing instead.

I sort of remind myself of Andy Bernard, the Nard Dog, on The Office. When he left Dunder Mifflin, he wasn’t pursuing a singing career. No, any method of becoming rich and famous would suit him.

And that’s me. I made a list of all the things I want to do–the things that make me happy. I’m over sixty now and I’m allowed to be happy. So here it is: Writing, Puzzle Books, Sewing, Photography, Cooking, Online Classes, & Crocheting/Knitting.

Those are the things I like to do. And I’m not going to push any of them aside anymore trying to make myself a successful author. I’m just going to be me. I’m the brand. Again, this really is nothing new when I think about it. It’s just a recognition of the fact. And I made a chart to keep track of my progress on all of my projects.

So that’s what I wanted to tell you.

I made a chart!

How about you? Have you any plans or resolutions? I hope they’re as epic, or as minute, or as nonexistent as you want them to be.

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Hey, Epcot…it’s not me, it’s you

It’s been a couple of years since we visited Epcot for the food & wine festival. The only reason was Covid. But we’ve been vaccinated over and over again, and we’ve likely already had it and were asymptomatic, so we decided to get back out there and stuff ourselves with super expensive, not all that epic, little plates of food.

You pay $25 to park now. And you have to pay for your tickets and make a reservation for whatever park(s) you want to visit on whichever day ahead of time. So we did that. For some reason, I thought the reservation meant that the park wouldn’t be too crowded. And you know, it probably wasn’t as crowded as it could have been.

We went to the Magic Kingdom once and the crowd was so thick we couldn’t handle it. We spent about an hour and half squeezing ourselves through the throng toward the exit and left.

Anyway, so the object is to go around the World Showcase and stand in lines to get samples of food that you have to pay for. I didn’t take any other pictures really. For one thing, the park isn’t as picturesque these days. The entrance area is under construction. And I was just uninspired while walking around the country area.

Here’s what we got:

Australia!

Grilled sweet & spicy bush berry shrimp with pineapple, pepper, onion, and snap peas.

Grilled sweet & spicy bush berry shrimp with pineapple, pepper, onion, and snap peas.

So, I don’t know what bush berry shrimp is, but it was delicious. Hubs didn’t like it. The snap peas had that frozen taste. By that I mean they tasted like the beans that I’ve gotten in a bag at Publix in the freezer section. That doesn’t necessarily mean they weren’t fresh. It just means I wasn’t all that into the taste. I like my beans with the bejeezus boiled out of them and greasy with bacon fat.

Anyway, this was one of the best things we ate.

Appleseed Orchard

Apple Crumble Tart

Appleseed Orchard, as you may have guessed, is not a country. It used to be that all the booths represented countries, but not anymore. They’ve got booths for all sorts of stuff now: Coastal Eats, Flavors From Fire, The Fry Basket, Mac & Eats, The Noodle Exchange, The Swanky Saucy Swine, etc.

Anyway, the best dessert we had was at Appleseed Orchard–the apple crumble tart. It was like apple pie, but not too sweet. I’d eat that again!

Brazil

Black beans with crispy pork belly, Brazil nut pesto and rice and Brazilian cheese bread

Black beans with crispy pork belly, Brazil nut pesto and rice and Brazilian cheese bread.

The black beans were fabulous! The second best thing we ate. I’d say it was the first best thing, but you really have to take the dish as a whole, and this dish had a chunk of tough pork belly on it. I chewed and chewed for five minutes. And it was bland, too. So, no thanks.

The cheese bread was rubbery and bland. Like…why? Why would I want to eat that? It was like eating a boiled rubber ball. As I was trying just one more bite in hopes that I’d missed something with the first, my thought was, “I’m just putting calories in my body without the pleasure you expect from cheese and bread.”

France!

Warm beignet filled with a 3-cheese blend

I usually get the escargot at the France booth, but I decided to do something different this year. Live and learn. I chose the “warm beignet filled with a 3-cheese blend.” It was warm. I’ll say that. There was so much cheese in and on it that I seriously doubt that any French person would eat it. This was American cheese bread. Except that it was, once again, bland. It’s as if the people in charge of the French booth tried to give Americans the ooey-gooey cheese bread they must want, but with some kind of mild French cheeses instead of good cheese. No thank you. I stood in that long and winding line to get mushy, tasteless (and a tad tough) bread. I’m scarred.

Greece

Spanakopita

Greece will make it all better. Am I right? No. No, I’m not. For one thing, there was no baklava this year. Granted, the baklava might have been at a different booth last time, but there wasn’t any to be had anywhere.

So I got spanakopita. I’ve had it before and was looking forward to it. The dough was excellent. Flaky and delicious. But there was very little spinach and it tasted mostly like cheese. Bland cheese. Are you seeing the pattern here? Ah well. I’ve decided that, in addition to making myself an ooey gooey fabulous grilled cheese sandwich this week, I’m going to make my own spanakopita and stuff it with spinach! Take that Greece booth.

Hops & Barley

Chesapeake crab slider with tangy coleslaw and Cajun remoulade and carrot cake

Chesapeake crab slider with tangy coleslaw and Cajun remoulade and carrot cake.

There was a ton of crab on the slider and it was tasty. The remoulade was lovely. Probably the third best thing we ate. We brought the carrot cake home with us. It was really good. It was more like a muffin this year and the icing was more of a glaze. And neither the cake nor the icing were super sweet like you often get with carrot cake. Overall, it was very good.

Ireland

Warm chocolate pudding cake with Irish cream liqueur custard

It’s always too hot to have the fisherman’s seafood pie at the Ireland booth. I may have had it the first year, but now we just get the warm chocolate pudding cake with Irish cream liqueur custard.

This year…I don’t know…maybe I’ve just fallen out of love with it. It was warm. And mushy, with some nubby-ness to it. But not as chocolatey as it looks. The custard was lovely though. Another thing I’m determined to make soon is a flourless chocolate cake. And maybe I’ll give this Irish cream liqueur custard a go.

Mexico

Tostada de barbacoa

Tostada de barbacoa: BBQ beef on a fried corn tortilla with chipotle black beans, pineapple, pickled onions and Queso fresco, and chives.

The tostada was flaky and tasty, the meat was tender, but bland. The bbq sauce was hot, but not much else. It was…okay.

Spain

Paella with rice, chorizo, and shrimp

Paella with rice, chorizo, and shrimp.

Okay, so I guess I don’t like chorizo, which is the sausage stuff. It had a weird taste to it. The shrimp was good and the rice and peas were okay. I don’t think this was real paella. In fact, I’m sure of it.

Brew-Wing at the Odyssey

Crispy Brussels sprouts with buffalo sauce

This was our last dish of the day and I was so looking forward to it. Brussels sprouts. I was promised “Crispy Brussels sprouts,” actually.

The catch was the buffalo sauce. Hubs said he didn’t like buffalo sauce. I was unfamiliar with it. I’m familiar with it now. It was disgusting. It rendered those fabulous Brussels sprout inedible. And not very crispy. I was so disappointed! And gaggy. I’m shivering just thinking about it.

We skipped a bunch of booths; we just can’t eat that much. And this year, we didn’t go on any rides. It was hot and crowded, and the food was just not that great. All in all, a rather disappointing trip to Epcot.

A $5 bottle of Diet Coke and we were out of there.

So, am I just an old lady now? Is that why everything tasted bland? Or is the Covid?! Nothing else tastes bland, just all the cheese and some of the meat at Epcot. I’m going to say it’s not my taste buds, but it could be that I’m just not that into the Epcot thing anymore.

Does Sea World still do a food & whine, er, wine festival?

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Hurricanes, ACs, and Jabs, Oh My!

Beautiful ear-tipped feral cat seen at a park on Lake Lanier in the Atlanta area. September 2022

We knew there was a hurricane headed toward the gulf. Honestly, I can’t recall where it was when we left for our week-long vacation to the Atlanta area and then on to Chattanooga. We left on a Friday and spent a wonderful weekend adoring our grandbaby. But, by Sunday, we realized that no matter where the hurricane hit, we’d be driving home the next Friday through its aftermath.

So, we forsook Chattanooga and returned home on Monday to prepare for a storm.

We live in a weird spot on Florida’s east coast. Now, I’m not saying we never get hit, but we rarely do. Most storms ride up along the coast and hit up north or head back out into the Atlantic. Those that come from the west typically veer off to poor New Orleans or cross the state exiting far north of us.

And those that do enter our county seem to like the northern half and leave us with just a tropical storm.

This time, Ian slammed into Florida’s west coast, devastating it, and then headed across north of us. We slept through whatever we got and awoke the next morning to a yard littered with bits of oak. One old branch broke. And that was it.

When I went out to survey the damage and check for squirrels (after the last hurricane they seemed to disappear for a long time), I found the plastic cover for a car headlamp up by the garage door. Then I found another in the side yard. I checked our cars and figured they must belong to someone on the cul de sac. I imagined that they weren’t attached to a car at the time of the storm, because, what are the odds both covers would be pried off by the wind?

I talked to our neighbor across the street and they weren’t hers, so I put them out on the sidewalk and waited for their owner to come for them. Several days later, my husband noted that they looked like they’d fit on one of our cars. Sure enough, they were ours all along. I felt a little silly picking them up off the sidewalk and taking them to the garage.

And then, the AC went out. Turned out to be a leaky coil, so probably not related to the hurricane. But, the thing is, the coil has to be ordered from the manufacturer and will take at least ten weeks.

If this were March through September, I’d be investing in a few of those portable air conditioners and trying to finagle a way to install them, fitting their venting tubes into our way-too-large windows that hubs loves so much.

But it’s October, thank gawd, and I’m finding that, so far, I’m not suffering. Not any more than usual, that is.

Yesterday, we went for our third Covid boosters and flu shots and my arms hurt. I think I’ll go sploof on the sofa for a while and watch some college football. I made my Scrumptious Earthquake Cake recipe for my weekend pity party, but today I don’t even feel like eating any. I’m sure it’ll pass.

But, you know what else I’ve been thinking about? And, this could be the emptiness I always feel leaving my son, DIL, and grandbaby; or anxiety leftover from the hurricane; leaked freon; or the results of my body currently building up a resistance against Covid and the flu….but I’ve been thinking about writing. And I’m not sure I want to push myself at it anymore.

I thought I was going to sell books and have a career. But it’s just a hobby. And when I pressure myself to work on the next book, it just makes me irritable. There’s a tad bit of “why bother rushing” to the exercise. If I’m just writing for me, basically, then why make such a fuss? I feel like I’d rather just make puzzle books all the time. I really enjoy that. And maybe I’d have a better chance at selling them than novels.

And my sewing table is set up in the back room and every time I walk by I regret that I have so much else to do. I’m getting old, people. Maybe it’s time to just do whatever the hell I want to do–not that I haven’t had that option all along.

Well, that’s enough brooding for today. May your days be cool and your storms pass quickly…

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